My hair turned white overnight

I woke up this morning to discover that my hair had turned as white as snow while I had been sleeping. I went to bed with brown hair and woke up an albini. I don't think this is going to play out well, I thought to myself as I drove to work. Sure enough, I was met at the office by Johnny Newpants, who called me "Powder." Next, I saw the new guy with Tourette's, who called me "Swanny-Swanny-Swan-Swan!" JoJo Rucksack started calling me "Grandpa Joe." But Shirley Lafoiegras really pissed me off the most. "You just keep getting weirder and weirder," she said to me when we passed in the hall. I told her to go sit on a cupcake, she yelled something back at me, and before you knew it, we were having at it. A crowd formed and, for effect, I barked this at her: "Oh, yeah, well at least I didn't screw Lenny Chookoo standing up in the toilet stall in the women's bathroom like you did!" and walked away. Of course, it wasn't true, but they didn't know that, including Shirley's husband, Les, who was part of the assembled crowd and with whom she'd been married for 20 years, nor their two teenaged children, who were there as part of Take Your Teenager to Work Day. Let them sort it out, I thought. It's not my problem.