Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The Outpatients' Daily Bridge Club Column

Daily Question
You hold: Hearts Q 7, Diamonds A 8 7 5, Spades J 9, Clubs A K 10 6 3. Your partner opens one spade, you respond two clubs, he bids two hearts and you try three diamonds. Partner next bids three spades. What do you say?

Answer
Partner suggests a six-card spade suit with extra strength. You counter by telling him that you didn't appreciate the way he ogled your wife at the country club pool on Saturday. He responds by claiming that he doesn't know what you're talking about. You bid six spades and inform him that, just because he was wearing sunglasses that doesn't mean you couldn't tell where he was looking. He holds and tells you you're crazy, that he's not interested in women who look like Danny Devito. You try three diamonds and flick a lit cigarette toward his fat, stupid face. He bids three clubs, flips the card table over and storms off. Great, you scream after him, we were just about to run a major suit.

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