I think I might throw up

I'm not feeling particularly well today. I think I might throw up. Wait a minute, wait a minute ... No, false alarm. I thought I was just about to throw up, but I didn't. Uh-oh, here it comes again; it's coming this time, it's coming, here it comes ... Nope, another close call. Phew, I was sure I was ... Hold on! Hold on! This is the real deal. This is the real deal ... Huh. Nothing again. I thought for sure I was ... Nobody move! Nobody move! This is not a test! ... Well, there was a bit of a dry heave there, but not much else. Honestly, I'm starting to feel a little better. Maybe I won't ... Red alert! Red alert! Grab your underpants, everybody, the floodgates are about to open! Stand back ... Well, ain't that the darndest? Nothing again, although I have a sneaking suspicion I may have just shit my pants.