Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Joey Coconut thinks he's all that

I saw Joey Coconut coming up my walkway this morning and met him at my front door. "Why you coming to my crib and trying to get all up in my grille?" I asked him all tough like. "I'm not trying to start anything, William, I just wanted to let you know that I've dropped the charges against you and plan to cover the cost of the repairs to the house myself." I didn't back down. "Oh, Massah, thankee. Thankee, Massah." He looked at me funny. "Is that supposed to be an Irish accent?" he asked. "No, it's a slave accent, on account of the fact that you're trying to make me feel like one." He replied: "I'm doing no such thing, you stupid turd, I'm trying to give you a break so that you can make something of your pathetic life." He turned and walked away.

Who'll be the stupid turd when I steal his identity and run him into the poor farm? I thought to myself. You, Joey Coconut. You will be the stupid turd! I laughed and turned back inside.
"Hey, Fatty Beardo," screamed a voice from inside the house, "close the door, you pathetic hippo, before you let all the warm air out!"
"Yes, mommy," I replied. "Sorry about that, mommy."

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