Taking sitz baths does not make me a woman

General Yammy Hammy walked into the bathroom while I was soothing my hemorrhoids in a sitz bath last night. He seemed disturbed by the scene.
"Is your cooter sore?" he asked.
"Do I look like a woman to you, General Yammy Hammy?"
"You do sitting in that sitz bath," he replied.
"There are lots of reasons for taking a sitz bath," I said.
"Yeah, like when your cooter is sore," he said, approaching me. "Get out. No step-son of mine is going to spend his evening sitting in no sitz bath."
We wrestled, me naked and him clothed, until finally he fell into the tub with me.
"You've brought great shame to this house," he said to me, which was funny coming from a man with no teeth or hair who gets beaten up regularly by his 64-year-old wife and who, until recently, lived on the top floor of the local Y.
"And you, General Yammy Hammy, have brought great shame to this sitz bath," I retorted as I reached for my towel.